Options for Writing Your Own Vows

Planning a wedding tips

When most people hear the words ‘write your own vows’ they automatically think it means to say them out loud during their ceremony, which more often than not can make people super nervous. Because of this they might not think about including personal vows into their wedding day at all. But… this is only one of three ways you can do it!


A first look or first touch is a sweet time to read your personal vows. It will be a special moment just between the two of you when you can express your love to each other on your wedding day. Saying them face-to-face will be an emotional experience so make sure to bring some tissues!


 If you aren’t doing a first look or first touch, then writing them down is a great option! My friend made a cute, little booklet to write their vows in so that it was a keepsake afterward! There is no pressure if you want to cry or get emotional because no one will be watching you, except maybe the photographers, but they’ll be some memorable pictures!


I am not the biggest fan of public speaking, but my husband and I decided to read our personal vows during our ceremony and I can tell you without hesitation that I would do it all over again! Once I was standing up there with my soon-to-be husband, my attention was fully on him. While I was reading my vows to Jacob, it felt like we were the only two people there at that moment. All of my nerves disappeared.

If this is something you’ve seen before in a ceremony that you’ve always wanted to do but are nervous to say them out loud, I want to encourage you to do it! Just look into your fiancé’s eyes and not at all the people around you. Just remember, all of your guests who are there love you and would love a glimpse into your love story!

I loved being able to share with my friends, family, and before God the reasons why I loved Jacob and wanted to marry him! We bring up our personal promises that we made to each other all the time. I had vowed to Jacob to be better at sharing my dessert and coffee with him but…. I am still working on that one every time we have dessert! It gives us a chance to laugh and reminisce on the best day of our lives!

Whichever option is right for you, writing personal vows is such a special part of your wedding day and a moment you will never forget! It’s a chance to share with your other half what this day means to you. You can share a funny story, when you first fell in love, what you love about them, and personal promises you vow to uphold (you can also get creative with these like I did!). I hope this changes your perspective on the term “write your own vows” and helps you decide the perfect way to include personal vows into your wedding day!

All the best,

Jess Conley

Harborside Chapel Associate


Photo by: Corey Conroy Photography

Flower crown by: Hassell Florist

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