Your engagement season is a special time to grow closer to your fiancé and prepare yourselves for marriage. In this blog, I want to give you five topics that my husband, Jacob, and I think are important to discuss before you say ‘I do’.
It truly makes a difference when you develop the skills for marriage beforehand. Jacob and I can attest to that! You want to try and avoid all those unnecessary fights over laundry, dishes, or money that are really due to miscommunication. Being on the same page about these topics will help you and your future spouse have more quality time together that doesn’t involve arguing!
- Household Chores
Who will do what around the house? Who likes to cook? Clean? It’s important to talk about your likes and dislikes when it comes to household chores. Jacob and I always encourage couples to be a team! It shouldn’t all fall on one person. You and your future spouse are in it together to make sure your house runs smoothly and stays clean. Have an understanding of how you both can split up the chore list!
- Love Language
Knowing what each of your love language is will help you love each other in the way that person best receives love. This is important in marriage so you can know how to serve and love your spouse better. Jacob’s love language didn’t come natural to me at first, and it took me awhile to become comfortable expressing words out loud. If this is you, I want to encourage you that you’ll get there because you love your fiancé!! (Read my last blog post for more information on this.)
- Your Family
What were your family traditions growing up? Did you go on yearly family vacations? What new traditions do you want to start? It’s important to understand each other’s family dynamics. Maybe you have an amazing, supportive family or maybe your parents are divorced. It’s good to know what expectations you might be bringing into your new marriage about your future family.
- Communication Cues
What I mean by that is knowing how to communicate well with your fiancé. This is a science, no joke. There are many books about this subject alone. Jacob and I’s biggest piece of advice is to listen to each other and tell each other everything. Know when it’s a good time to bring something up to the other person by simply asking, “Is now a good time to talk?” Let the other person decide if they are in a good state of mind to talk something through. This will help your tough conversations not be so hard, trust us!
- Financial Plan
The subject a lot of people don’t want to talk about… but it’s one of the main reasons why couples fight. For Jacob and I, being on the same page about our finances while we were engaged has saved us from some tough conversations now in marriage. It was the best thing we could have done! Developing a financial plan before marriage will help set you all up for success. Are you brining any financial burdens into marriage? Have you thought about your budget? How will you spend, save, and give?
There are many more topics like Love and Respect, Faith, Friendships, etc. that should be talked about prior to marriage, but these were five that were so helpful for Jacob and I to feel prepared for marriage!
Through the Chapel’s Marriage Mentoring program, you can develop all of these skills and more. At the Chapel, our heart is to not just do weddings, but prepare couples for marriage. Our trained marriage mentors want you to succeed! Marriage is one of the biggest blessings we get here on earth, but it doesn’t come without some hard-work.
Be prepared the best you can and enjoy all the blessings marriage brings!
Photo by: Tiffany McClure Photography